“It was a season of transformation. With self-confidence, I kept pushing myself to achieve my goals. I was determined to prove to myself that I could do it, to succeed.”
My life changed in the summer of 2007. I felt like I was never going to get better. I had to find the strength to keep going.
First, a little background. Wichita is a metropolitan city in South Central Kansas, my hometown. After growing up and attending high school in Wichita, I attended Kansas State University in Manhattan, Kansas.
I was raised in a nurturing family. My father is an oncologist who practiced in the area, and my mother was a full-time caregiver for me and my two triplet sisters.
My childhood curiosity led me to become a curious young man. I grew up in an environment that fostered creativity and curiosity. DK books had become a big deal in the US and the UK. They have topics about natural disasters, Greek history, sports, and how to sow. Watching cable television in the 1990s gave me an avenue for platforms like PBS, where the famous Mr. Rogers advocated for Congress in the 1960s to extend funding that exists to this very day. Reading Rainbow, hosted by Lavar Burton, fed and nurtured my mind. My parents encouraged reading at a young age. That is when my struggles began with what my mom called developmental. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the late 1990s. Dyslexia wasn’t diagnosed until 2006, however. I struggled in school and with everyday tasks. I felt like I was falling behind my peers and often overwhelmed. I had to work harder than others to succeed. I was determined not to let my learning disabilities define me. I was determined to succeed no matter what. I was determined to be better than my limitations.
Writing was a huge struggle for me throughout early childhood, middle school, and high school. Getting words onto paper, organization. When I would write, the manifestation of dysgraphia was apparent. I would cry quite often. It was such a struggle that by 2006, a psychologist launched a plan for me to Write without tears. Typing was also a struggle. Fortunately, my mom was an expert in typing and had experience in pathology, typing reports for years. She helped me. Still, struggles were so significant for me at that time. Most commonly, when people grow up with dyslexia, they have low self-esteem. I had such low confidence in myself. I had tutors who had no answers for my struggles. I was constantly reminded of my dyslexia and felt frustrated and helpless. I was determined to overcome my struggles, but I didn’t know how to do it. I knew I had to keep trying.
At one point in the winter of 2005, there were questions about whether I had to attend a Love Box school that I shadowed at, which didn’t typically send its graduates to colleges. I told my mom I didn’t want to attend such a school when I left my previous longtime prep school, Wichita Collegiate School. We applied to a catholic school, Kapun Mt. Carmel, but the Nun running the institution said, “I’m sorry, but we cannot accommodate your son.” Then, an administrator at Collegiate, a woman named Jan Davis, recommended The Independent School. She suggested the school because of its rigorous academic program and emphasis on character development. Initially, I was hesitant, but my mom convinced me to try it. I’m so glad I did.
The Independent School is a liberal arts institution that was a Blue Ribbon nationally recognized school. Chris Ashbrook, the head principal of the upper school, told my mom, “When does he want to start?” Upon hearing my background and what accommodations I would need. The first day was in January of 2006. I was nervous but excited at the same time. I walked into the school, and right away, I felt a sense of belonging. I knew I had made the right decision.
“Hey, Evan, It’s Paul!” shouted one of my longtime friends from kid pitch baseball. I was astonished. I had no idea Evan Fahrbach and David Hahn were attending the high school I was now enrolled at. I felt at home. Although Improvements came slowly. I was relieved and excited. I knew I could rely on them for comfort and guidance. I was ready to start a new chapter of my life. 2006 spring semester, I went back to the basics. My confidence academically was so low. The grades I had carried over from WCS were all failing except for maybe one class, a D. I had to start somewhere. My tutor, Mrs. Martens, was familiar with the administration at TIS. My first semester had a heavy dose of writing. The first subjects were humanities, Art History, mathematics, history, and Spanish. My grades improved to a degree. Cs were the norm in that era. Spelling tests were challenging, but I’m grateful for my mother helping me achieve and lay a foundation for the building block of what I would eventually become a strength and a profession. The Fall of 2006 was a big struggle. Academic probation was a big challenge at the prep school. It felt like I had slipped back into challenging obstacles. My parents and Mr. Martens never wavered in their support of me. I made it through a full year of my sophomore year of high school.
2007 came, and my mindset started to change.
Over the summer of 2007, I did a lot of self-reflection and soul-searching. I realized that I had to start pulling my weight. Everyone else was doing that but me. This was a real turning point in my life. Around that same time, I began to read about this legendary College football coach, Bill Snyder.
A few years before 2007, Snyder had retired from coaching. I bought a book about his career at Kansas State University and how he orchestrated the remarkable turnaround in the history of NCAA football. In 1988, Snyder was hired as head coach of K-state from his previous job at the Big Ten Conference’s University of Iowa, where he was offensive coordinator. He took over the worst situation any coach has ever inherited. Facilities were so bad that many high schools in the state of Kansas had better weight rooms. Attendance, well…what attendance? The program in its 93 years before the hire of Snyder was so bad they had three winning seasons in the previous 54 years. No one went to games. Money was nonexistent. The Big Eight conference had all but decided to kick K-State out and add Arkansas. This is when I started to read about his attention to detail. Famous quotes by Snyder resonated with me. I read accounts about how Snyder convinced the program to take baby steps.
“The smallest of victories would soon lead to bigger ones.”
By 1991, Snyder had a winning season. As time went on, things started to fall into place. As a result, I need to improve myself a little each day. It made me feel good to listen to upbeat music. Snyder for 27 years played upbeat music such as Livin On A Prayer by Bon Jovi; Here I Go Again by White-Snake to get his teams mentally prepared at home games at Bill Snyder stadium, formerly KSU Stadium. In addition, I paid attention to the little details, such as shaking teachers’ hands and looking them in the eye. As a result of my actions, I took responsibility. I became more driven. My confidence began to climb high. That reflected my grades in the fall of 2007. The C’s started to become solid B’s. It was still more challenging to write than to do math. Despite this, I pressed on as a result of my newfound self-confidence. Building blocks was my first step. I started to work harder and push for better results. I was determined to succeed. With hard work and dedication, I was able to reach my goals. I was proud of myself for what I had done. I had set a goal, and I was able to achieve it. I was motivated to keep pushing forward. My final and most important year of high school finally arrived in the fall of 2008. I knew I was ready to take the next step, and I did. I received B’s across the board in statistics and writing in English. I remember Mrs. Martens telling my mom, “Paul has grown up!” By that point, my GPA had risen to the equivalent of a B average (around a 3.0 on the public school grading scale). College was undoubtedly on the table, and that didn’t feel like a high possibility two years before my academic renaissance. I was proud of myself and all the hard work I had put in. I was determined to continue my studies and make my dreams a reality. I went to the college counselor and told her I would prefer to stay in the state. After all, my sisters had just started at the University of Kansas that fall before my graduation. I applied to two state schools, Wichita State University and Kansas State University. Both programs accepted me. My heart swelled; I was so happy. I got in based on entrance requirements for a grade point average. My mom kindly told me, “If you go to Wichita State, you will live on campus. We want you to experience college away from home.”
My heart was set, however, on Kansas State University.
In the summer of 2009, I visited Manhattan, Kansas, home of K-State. I loved the atmosphere, the large campus, and the culture. One word to describe it was pride. It was so infectious that I reminisced about an article about my studies of Bill Snyder. Many accounts from the legendary coach himself stated that during a break in the 1988 job interview, Snyder asked to be dropped off in the middle of the campus. The love affair with Manhattan had begun. Snyder recalled stopping several students and faculty members:
“Everybody was so gracious. I was so impressed with the people who took the time to visit with me, and the bottom line is that is why I came to Kansas State University.”
Similarly, I felt this euphoric sense of pride around the campus.
My parents requested only one condition since I chose Kansas State University: I take the pilot program the first year, which eases actual first-year students into the rigorous college academic setting. Done. It was an easy choice. I was now a K-State Wildcat.
Part 1 of a series on my Midwest American life